Do you have to stay with your kids all along the night? If your kid is behaving in this way, it is not unusual behavior. You can even expect your growing children to stay in your bed…..no matter you are having a girlfriend or a new potential partner. You are not alone on this parenthood journey; many parents are struggling to find this” problem,” which is a normal childhood phenomenon.
Why Your Child Wants You To Be Around Before Sleeping?
There could be several possible reasons so that your child feels secure in your company at night. Most importantly, take it as a typical behavioral pattern rather than is vigilant if this attitude remains persistent after a certain age.
Seeking Love And Attention
Parents are like superheroes for their kids; that why they always seek their attention. Falling asleep after a long day can be a pleasant experience for the kid if he/she feels loved. Being loved creates a strong sense of stimulation that entirely brings relaxation to mind for peaceful sleeping. Without parent’s kind gestures, the quiet and nights can be furious for children.
Feeling Scary
The peaceful nights are mostly distracted by mysterious sounds and dark shadows. Often stillness invites scary thoughts in innocent brains. Most likely, parents engage their children at night by telling inspirational or fictional stories. That helps to support their imagination powers during the brain development phase.
Anxiety
When your kid is recovering from illness or surgery trauma, they need your presence to sleep. You are their most generous support in times of turmoil. Probably any underlying fear is causing anxiety in your kid. If he/she insists on staying with you for the whole night, it is a natural urge to feel loved by your parents. It can be the habit of your kid for the upcoming few years. Fear of unknown, fictional horror characters and any possible suspicion of danger can trigger feelings of insecurity.
Emotional Or Physical Abuse
Emotional or physical abuse might be quite disturbing for the growing child. During the bath, notice their bodies; any scar or bruise can be a possible sign of bodily hurt. Take these signs seriously, and this is the time to dig deeper. He/she might feel frightened to tell you the truth, but a polite discussion can help you understand his feelings.
Broken Families
If you have recently divorced/separated from an abusive relationship, this is the difficult phase for your child. They might be learning to cope with these changes to feel emotionally secure.
Tribal Family Setups
Before entering into this last phase of urban lifestyle, people likely to stay closer to each other. Some fortunate families are still persistent in sleeping together; the parent-child relationship is so special for creating a family ideal family setup.
Natural Human Instinct
You might have noticed this habit of puppies while sleeping they would like to curl up in each other instead of sleeping alone. How to relate it with humans? Well, we are mammals too; your child might not like to sleep all over the place instead, closer to you. Before 12 Years of age, we can take it usually, but after that, something to watch out for if still, they cannot sleep alone.
Bullying Or Teasing
After a certain age, if you still see your kid being afraid to always alone in their room or bed. It is a matter of concern to investigate more. Is there something wrong? May someone be bullying them in school or family? Any bad touch could be problematic for your child, but if thing feels perfect alright, then he/she want to show a more profound affection by sleeping closer to you.
Is It Expected Behavior?
It is not a bad deal; actually, bedtime is associated with enjoyment and togetherness for most people. Infect you kid wants to feel free to cuddle and kiss you more any other time of the day. You are fully available to them which they want to celebrate it. Indeed they want to feel the warmth of your body that is a precious movement for you as well. Bedtime cuddling and creases are vital to have a healthy relationship with your toddlers. It will make a significant difference if you have appreciated your kid rather than kicking him out of your bed long ago.
So better to focus on the following crucial aspects instead of getting worried:
Ask a few questions to yourself as a responsible parent.
Does my child always want to sleep in my bed? Even after crossing ten years of age.
Have you inquired them about the reason for this? Of course, a polite discussion would help rather than pressurizing the child to speak up.
His/her bedroom is comfortable enough to let them enjoy restful deep sleep?
Indeed if your child has some chronic illness such as diabetes or epilepsy, you must have to take care of their particular needs.
So if these conditions make it acceptable to sleep with your kid, maybe it is time to put in some extra effort by sacrificing your sleep.
If this is not the case, then you must try a few tricks to make your child comfortable sleeping alone in the bedroom.
How To Deal With It?
Make Efforts
Might be your child need more time than other ones, how to deal with clingy child? Do you feel overwhelmed with such a stubborn attitude; you have to realize that parenthood is a full-time commitment. After being a parent, you have to understand that a human being is attached to you for him/her physical and emotional needs.
Attitude Management
What to do if your child is feeling unsafe? Not so easy for the parents to deal with. If the child insists on sleeping in your bed despite your efforts, don’t get mad at him, which will make things worse. Kids are quite sensitive to develop negative feelings in their little brains. Are they speaking harsh words? Scolding? Does it work? Not in the long run, might be they will be able to obey you, but it can dig hatred in their mind for you. Of course, you are not going to like this situation if things go in the same way. Be ready to listen to your child, give them space to share their concerns with you.
New Relationships
It can be super frustrating for people trying to make new relationships. Your new boy/girlfriend or potential mate would not be able to understand things positively. That is the time when you have to talk to your kid face to face, whether they genuinely have some issue or it is just a tack to divert your attention from the partner. Here you have to initiate a serious discussion with your child about his behavior.
Talk to him more directly to know the reason for sleeping in your bed while having their own. If you feel it a matter of seeking attention, make them realize your individuality. It will take him some time to understand the situation, give him time and space to adjust to a new position with an entirely new person entered into your life.
Remember, your child is not mature enough to understand the complexities of relations. Your partner must be belonging for your time and attention while your kid wants to stay with you. In this situation, talk to you can stay with your child until he slept.
It is ok to think about moving forward in life after getting rid of a toxic relationship, but it should not cost you losing the love of your child. The most challenging part of this is to realize your kid about this new person’s presence in your life. Be communicative with your kid about this; tell them the situation; if the child is above 12years of age, he/she is in a better position to understand you. Very young children are often more possessive and want to be around their parents; they can take more time to adjust to this change. Give them ample time and talk to them more so they can trust you as their ally.
Be Patient
You don’t want to grow your child with insecurities. Rather sleeping alone is an essential part of children’s growing phase. Sometimes things get worse to embarrass you and your partner, time to be patient; showing your frustration by behaving aggressively to your child will do nothing useful. Most teenagers are hard enough to deal with, so they better develop a sense of responsibility from an early age so they will not be clingy as they enter into their teens.
Age Factors
As your child is above 3 Years of age and potty trained to deal with his business, it is time to take action. Better to start with separating the bed first; it can be easier for you to realize the importance of privacy. Give him time and attention to go through these changes, which are essential for leading a healthy and independent life. Try to make this happen till 10 Years of age; at this level, he/she should be able to sleep independently.
Mental Health
Taking care of the emotional needs of your kids depends on your dealing with them. A coward mother or father is going to bring a depressed child up. We are unintentionally forwarding the false believes towards our next generations, better to control your impulsive behavior. The insulting words of parents can bring emotional disaster into the personality of the child.
Conclusion
Parents are meant to be something special for the children, and their whole world revolves around them. Adore your bond with much more love and care; cuddle as much as you can. Enjoy the feeling of their presence in your bed; give the quality time by listening to them. If they share a close bond with you, they would be better able to speak their hearts; that is the only way to work for your beloved ones’ personality development. Their innocent brains cannot understand this complex world; they need your support at each step. Positive feedback delivered through kind words can work like magic to bring changes in your child’s attitude.
Hey! I work as a pregnancy and parenting expert in Pakistan. I am well versed in describing and highlighting the issues new and old parents need to deal with. I am using this platform to answer queries related to babies and toddlers because I being a mom and an expert have a lot of experience in this area. Many new parents as well as those who are single often seek assistance from sites and blogs and this is where you can get the right information from.
My vast knowledge will address some of the major issues parents encounter such as feeding, objects and toys for kids, upbringing, meal plans, sleeping suggestions etc. Apart from that my medical background as dentist would be of great help for general and oral health issues you often come across. Have a look over my blog and feel free to ask any query you come up with. It will be an honor for me!